All in Your Mind

I have now come to wonder if home is really more in our heads than in a physical place. The point of home for me is a refuge from the onslaught of the world---people, news, traffic, work, bad weather (literally and in life)---but can this be found without the box that contains five more boxes with white walls? Boxes filled with stuff. Some stuff that brings us comfort, stuff that gives ritual, stuff that brings debt, stuff that fuels disorganization and confusion---STUFF.

I often find that the only true refuge from the world is my own inner peace. The truth is, I think just as clearly and get more done at work than at home. At home I can do as I wish, but these days that isn't much. The more relaxed I've come to feel with myself the more I can relax anywhere. It is little help to escape the world if the TV is blaring news that would make caffeine nervous.

I love home---the physical structure, and the one there when I visit the rooms of my mind. I am grateful for both, but I am most mindful of the need to forever maintain the later. Today, I commit to keeping all that is not peace out of their spaces. After all, what we see in our world is nothing more than a reflection of our mental dwelling places.

I am all about finding the good in a seemingly bad situation. Many are feeling a sense of lack because their current finances keep them at home right now. I say there is much to love about home and much to help one feel a sense of abundance. This recession, which, by the way, is now officially over, still continues to affect many. I call it a recess from consumerism---a second chance to discover people rather than things. This is not to make light of those who never had enough to go overboard from the start. It is a chance to commune with those who had plenty and are now having to adjust. Check out one of my favorite monthly (and free) magazines---Skirt. It is touting the virtues and comforts of home in the May issue and has some great thoughts on which we can reflect. Try making a list of all the things you long to do at home when you are overworked with chores outside the home. If you cannot jog your mind, think of the things you loved to do when you were grounded to your room as an adolescent! The idea is to have a go-to list when you have lost sight of the joys of home. For instance, one of the things on my list comes from the joy of dressing up. I went through my closet and assembled outfits to wear when I get the job I want. Assemble, try on, accessorize---be prepared, act as if opportunity will meet preparedness and it probably will. While out doing my daily constitutional I have discovered another thing to add to my list---my community.

Home, for me, encompasses more than the box of several four walled rooms. It is the neighborhood, the town, the view from my bedroom window. One of the things I love most about my home is the convenience to nearly everything I need. If my job were also in the area, I would not need a car. There is sheer joy in combining exercise and running errands into one outing. Moreover, I get that Cheers sort of feeling of wanting to be where everybody knows my name and face when I shop. Now, how is this finding the good in a bad situation. First, I walk daily because I always have errands to run. Alas, with gas prices inching up again, I can make it an entire week on one fill-up. While out walking I see the beautiful flowers of the season on the grounds of the apartment complex, and can gather a bouquet for free. I am contributing to the good of the environment by cutting down on emission pollution. My love of reading books and magazines has taken a large chunk out of my wallet, so, I have discovered the neighborhood library, which is free. You can also check out movies and music for free at the library. Resale shops are experiencing a renaissance. I have discovered two within walking distance, and three more within five miles. Even though I am not shopping I am preparing for a simplifying of my already simple life. Lastly, I do one of my favorite things---as I encounter people without a smile, I give them mine! A smile helps all of us to find the joy. Until next time...

Home Cookin'

I am a foodie. I love to cook, and I love to eat. Discovering a new olive oil, seasoning, cheese, or wine can easily be the highlight of my day. I am dedicating this post to those who, not only love food, but who love to cook it. Cooking is one of my favorite things to do when I have time to relax at home. While surfing around on the Internet, I discovered some helpful sites to help you enjoy the heart of home---the kitchen.



If you live in the Atlanta area, try http://www.theblissfulglutton.com/ for regular updates on the latest and best local restaurants, food stores, bakeries, farmers' markets and so much more. If healthy, vegetarian fare is what you love, check out http://www.101cookbooks.com/. You will find a treasure trove of new and refreshing healthy recipes---and a newletter if you would like. Now, for the person who really wants to learn all about food, go to http://www.reluctantgourmet.com/. The site describes itself as a culinary guide for the homecook. There are detailed how-to and techniques for the newbie and a shopping guide section for speciality or hard to find ingredients. Of course, there are recipes galore and a community of more food lovers with whom you can share recipes. The old standby is http://www.foodnetwork.com/. All of those recipes made on the Food Network Channel can be found there. Cook Ina Garten only offers her recipes for a limited time, so, if you love what she is cooking, you had better download it fast.



If you just like having a community to share food ideas and knowledge go to http://www.foodbuzz.com/. I visit there under the handle "carbgoddess." That's because I have never met a bread or pasta I did not like, and I am sure many of you can identify with that weakness! To help keep the ravages of eating a lot of carbs under control I visit http://www.thedailyplate.com/. It is a free service that will allow you to determine how many calories you need each day to reach you weight goal. You are able to access their caloric value for almost any food you can think of, or you can enter your own. They also have a community to help you toward your goal. I could not believe all that they offer for free. You can upgrade to a premium membership, but the free one will get you going. Also, you can find another type food and calorie help aid to the right of this blog. Until next time, enjoy home!

Sailing the Sea of Joy

A friend of mine, Brenda Kitchen, wrote the following on Facebook:

Since 85% of self-talk is negative, make sure that you don't let the noise overwhelm you. Be kind to yourself, give yourself a break and shut down the chatter.

I have been reflecting on that for several days as I try to stay aware of my thoughts and actions. Shortly after reading her post, I heard Joel Osteen say that we should talk to our mind rather than letting our mind talk to us all the time. I agree. You cannot have joy in your home, your heart, or your mind if you allow the 85% negative talk run your emotions and your life. How is it that so much negativity comes to inhabit our gray matter? Much of it is deeply ingrained from our upbringing---the kind that requires a lot of work to reprogram; however, much more comes from the daily interaction with others and media sources---both within our control. I want to share some of the ways I have edited the continual input from society. I have stopped watching the daily news. Instead, I have programmed my phone to deliver breaking news from my local newspaper. If there is anything about which I need to know more, then, I have the option to go online and receive that information only. On my laptop I have the Google Desktop for quick weather updates. I get my world news in a positive format from Ode and Utne Reader magazines (they also have a website). Religion and Ethics has an excellent presentation of current news and issues on your local PBS channel every Sunday. They also have a website. If you find others, please share them with me. I am always looking for ways to limit what goes into my mind. As for our daily interactions with people, just know we cannot control anyone, but we can limit our contact with those who are at a different place in their development. Sometimes we can change the interaction by remaining positive and upbeat, but when that does not work, try limiting contact.

Guard your mind. It is your greatest health resource. Until next time, enjoy home and guard what comes into it!

Caring

As I was leaving for work I saw my neighbor and asked how he was doing. After a bit of hesitation he replied, "I'm alive." I have noticed his car does not leave its spot for days, and he is likely out of work. We are a nation of people who define self by what we do. Aside from the practical side of working---to pay the bills, work gives us a sense of contributing to the world, of being alive. When we are in the throes of despair we never want to hear what is good about our lives, but being alive is a good upon which we build all other good. Any good, no matter how long it takes in coming, can come our way if we are not present to receive it. In this home called Mother Earth, let's help in any little way possible to make being alive a joyous event for those we meet on the journey.

During this Easter season, let us try to remember that we all have a cross lurking. Some of us feel nailed to it. Some of us are in fear of the shadow it casts. The fortunate few have found resurrection and now live fully no matter the circumstances. Reach out to others in times of crisis. A strong support system is more valuable than any possession. If you perceive that you are nailed, let the strength and compassion of others help you down, wrap you in their love and nurture you until your circumstances change. If it becomes necessary to move into more humble accommodations or to move in with others, practice your daily rituals as much as possible until your full sense of home is again realized. Let us all pray for each other. These times are difficult to understand, but I believe the lessons are innumerable and rich. Fear is paralyzing. Trying to face a crisis alone (ego, pride) helps to feed the fear monster, which keeps us from discovering solutions. Offer a smile and an encouraging word to anyone with whom you interact. It could make the difference in some one's resurrection.

Time Out

I am going to depart from my usual reverie of home and talk about some general issues concerning the blog.

Upon launching this blog---my first attempt at really understanding what blogging is---I sent out a mass email to family and friends asking for feedback. What I did not realize is that time on the computer reading something for the fun of it is viewed by some as wasted time. The point is well taken in these tense economic times. Frugality is the buzz word, and it does not matter if it is money or time. To that end, I will share useful information on a regular basis---websites, books, and articles related to the subject matter of the blog. Hopefully, that will make the time reading it well spent time.

Another point, which I completely understand, is the lack of understanding when it comes to cyberspace. I grew up in the age of the electric typewriter. My major introduction to using a computer to do research and write papers was in graduate school. We were told that our comprehensive exam before graduation would be administered on the computer. I, the pencil and paper queen, was filled with fear and dread. One of my professors found this a bit amusing. She believed that since we would be using the computer extensively for classes, we would all be well versed by this time. That is when I had to step out of my comfort zone. I was still doing research exclusively in the library and wrote all papers in long-hand, going back later to type the information up in one sitting. Wow! She could not believe I would put myself through such extensive work, and I could not see the value of doing it on the computer (which I did not know how to use) when my methods gave the same results. I was stuck in my ways much like the character in, "You've Got Mail," who loved the hum of his electric typewriter and believed technology was invading our lives for the worse.

I look upon those days with a smile. If my house were burning down, the first thing I would grab is my laptop. By the last half of graduate school I had completely abandoned long-hand and wondered how I could have ever lived without a computer. Of course, balance is needed in all things. I've rediscovered the joy of putting pen to paper and use them when journaling. There is something about it no machine can replace, but I continue to stay abreast of what is current because it is how the world relates to us now.

Keep the feedback coming. I will soon launch another blog for nurses in the home healthcare field. There will be lots of information and guidance for those nurses. By October, I hope to launch a coaching website devoted to women in transition. If you are a woman, there will be a newsletter every month filled with info relating to grief and loss as a result of life's transitions. Hopefully, it will help you to navigate life's ever changing landscape wth strength and grace.

Next week I will return with more home life reverie. See you there.

Spring Cleaning

March is spring housecleaning time. Make no mistake about it, I loath housework; but there is something special about spring cleaning. I actually look forward to it and get excited by planning the cleaning schedule. It is the time to rediscover the buried treasure of your closets, drawers, pantry, bookshelves, cabinets and garage. With every change of season, I feel as if I've hit the clothes lottery as I unpack the cedar chest for the upcoming season. As I go through the closet, carefully folding and packing items that brought warmth and fashion to winter, I make mental notes of favorites, as well as pieces not worn for several years. Before long I have spent joyous hours in the treasure chest that is my closet.

Any cleaning gives me an excuse to light delicious smelling candles and put on a long forgotten CD. I start to review books in stacks from every corner of the house, as well as the book shelves, hoping to allow myself to donate at least a box full. I end up deeply engrossed in enlightening pages. If this were a job for which I was paid, the work would be done in short order, but cleaning one's home is different. Pulling out old beloved items bring up memories which now supply present day reverie.

Organizers say what has not been used in the past year should be donated, sold, or thrown away. I don't buy that. I think when the possession of an item no longer brings you joy, hope, or pleasure when you clean, repair, rearrange, re-box, or otherwise handle it, then, it is time to let it go. To know when that time has arrived, I always make sure to handle all of my things during spring cleaning---a labor of love.

After several weeks of excavating, cleaning, donating, disposing and just downright enjoying myself in the process, I walk from room to room feeling a sense of accomplishment and renewal. There really is no place like home.